Finding the New Normal

“When does this pain of loss end? Is there no relief?” This is often the cry of a parent who has lost a child. The grief seems too big and too hard at times. And, there seems to be no end in sight for the pain and isolation. And, yet we know that somehow, some way life must continue on.

We keep trying; keep reminding ourselves that we must take life one day at a time. In fact, sometimes we take life one hour at a time, giving ourselves the time we need to adjust to our new world, our new way, this life that now is labeled “the new normal.”

And, so we train our minds daily to look for the good, to listen for the song, and to watch for the sunshine and blue skies. We force ourselves to move forward into this world knowing that it will never be the same again, but also understanding that we must choose to move forward into this
new land beyond our grief journey. And, so we do!

Hope is amazing as it teaches us that the very same sun is still shining and waiting to warm us. Nature is still painting the world with beauty beyond words. Our Father is still giving us comfort and help in order to help fill the void. And, so we slowly move forward knowing that one day the curtain of grief will be pulled back and we will be able to see life with new eyes and a heart filled with hope! --Clara Hinton

“There is no way out, but there is a way that goes forward.” --C. Hinton

“Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.” --Isaiah 40:31

The Newness of Grief

Facing change under the best of circumstances is difficult and a bit frightening, to say the least. What will it be like? How can I be prepared? When wills this awful feeling leave? How long will it take me to get to a place of feeling normal again? Change brings about many new things for us, and the loss of a child is perhaps the worst change one can ever go through! We no longer can find the ground beneath us, much less travel the road of grief we have now been placed upon!

Mercifully, the sharp edges of pain that accompany grief will not always be there. With each passing day, we are making progress in finding our way through all of the new grief – even if it doesn’t feel like it. Time stops being our enemy and actually begins to help give us what we need to help navigate through this dark, winding path called grief.

If you are in the newness of grief right now, life is not at all routine for you. Everything is different from the rising of the sun to the close of the day. Hold on! Millions have walked this path you are now on, and they, too, struggled. They searched. They fell down. They suffered battle fatigue. They asked hard questions. They cried millions of tears, but they made it. And, you will make it, too!

Hope is stronger than the grief you are experiencing today. Hope will eventually help you begin to feel alive again. Hope will emerge strong. Hope will light your path. Hope will brighten your journey. Hope will calm your fears. Hope will give you purpose again. Hope will carry you through! -- Clara Hinton

“Hope is stronger than any grief, and when my aching soul surrenders to hope, I will begin to see light once again!” –C. Hinton

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.” --Psalm 23:1

Autumn's Grief

Grieving has its seasons, and autumn seems to be a particularly difficult season for those who have gone through loss. Maybe it’s the visual of seeing the flowers stop blooming and the leaves falling off of the trees. Perhaps it’s feeling the warm summer sunshine fading and suddenly feeling the lingering chill in the air. For most of us who have experienced loss, autumn is a time of reflection and bracing ourselves for the days of winter that lie ahead.

What if – what if we viewed autumn a bit differently this year? What if we reminded ourselves of how beautiful spring will be when it arrives again? What if we took the time to plant flower bulbs in the fall so that we can look for our spring following the dark days of winter? What if we promise ourselves to keep focused on the beauty of spring and summer rather than facing autumn with fear and dread?

Many years ago, following the loss of a baby boy, I went through a terrible autumn of grief. Winter was even worse, and I was not certain that springtime in my life would ever again return. I’m not sure what moved me to plant daffodil bulbs that fall, but I did. As I planted them, they were watered with my tears. The more I dug into the chilled, barren earth, the more my tears fell. Yet, I continued to dig and plant. Dig and plant. Dig and plant.

Autumn passed, the ground lay frozen and covered in snow for months in the mountains of Pennsylvania. And, my sorrow remained heavy. Little did I know how much spring would awaken my soul that year! Little did I know how much my grief would be lifted when I saw the first signs of those daffodils breaking through the ground that was now beginning to thaw! Little did I know how much of my grief would be lifted as I saw those first springtime blooms of daffodils! Hope returned! MY hope returned!

Are you facing autumn with dread and fear? Why not buy a bag of flower bulbs and plant them now? And, then wait……patiently and knowingly wait for your spring to return! And, when it does, I can assure you that it will be more beautiful than ever! –C. Hinton

“Grief endures for a season, and spring always returns!” --C. Hinton
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matt. 5:5

Love,
Clara Hinton
Mom of 11 living children
Mom of 1 stillborn son
Mom of 6 angel babies
Author of Silent Grief

Grief Makes Us Feel So Alone

Grief is such a universal experience, yet when it happens to us we feel so alone. Even when members of a family share the very same loss, each person feels the loss at a different level, and in a very personal way.

Our grief may be in common, but it is private as well. Our grief is our pain, and nobody experiences it in just the same way. It helps to remember that when we’re walking down the pathway of grief we are never alone even though it often feels that way.

There will be a time when we find solace and hope, but it will be different for everyone. Nobody experiences our loss the same, and nobody finds hope and comfort at the same time or in the same way.

What helps, though, is to remember that our day of peace will arrive, and when it does, it will be like having a big weight lifted off of our heart, and a new song placed in our heart for us to enjoy. No, we’ll never feel the same after a loss, but we will find relief, peace, and comfort. Hope will place a smile upon our heart as we continue on this journey we call life.

Hope allows us to look at today and enjoy the beauty of it, without worrying about the future. Hope gives us the strength for one day at a time, and slowly we find that the future has arrived and we are living it with a new strength and renewed sense of life that we didn’t have before. Hope gives us a reason to go on! --Clara Hinton

“It is comforting to know that God always provides hope as a companion to pain.” --Clara Hinton

“Faith is being…..certain of what we do not see.” Heb. 11:1