Monday, September 20, 2010

Autumn's Grief

Grieving has its seasons, and autumn seems to be a particularly difficult season for those who have gone through loss. Maybe it’s the visual of seeing the flowers stop blooming and the leaves falling off of the trees. Perhaps it’s feeling the warm summer sunshine fading and suddenly feeling the lingering chill in the air. For most of us who have experienced loss, autumn is a time of reflection and bracing ourselves for the days of winter that lie ahead.

What if – what if we viewed autumn a bit differently this year? What if we reminded ourselves of how beautiful spring will be when it arrives again? What if we took the time to plant flower bulbs in the fall so that we can look for our spring following the dark days of winter? What if we promise ourselves to keep focused on the beauty of spring and summer rather than facing autumn with fear and dread?

Many years ago, following the loss of a baby boy, I went through a terrible autumn of grief. Winter was even worse, and I was not certain that springtime in my life would ever again return. I’m not sure what moved me to plant daffodil bulbs that fall, but I did. As I planted them, they were watered with my tears. The more I dug into the chilled, barren earth, the more my tears fell. Yet, I continued to dig and plant. Dig and plant. Dig and plant.

Autumn passed, the ground lay frozen and covered in snow for months in the mountains of Pennsylvania. And, my sorrow remained heavy. Little did I know how much spring would awaken my soul that year! Little did I know how much my grief would be lifted when I saw the first signs of those daffodils breaking through the ground that was now beginning to thaw! Little did I know how much of my grief would be lifted as I saw those first springtime blooms of daffodils! Hope returned! MY hope returned!

Are you facing autumn with dread and fear? Why not buy a bag of flower bulbs and plant them now? And, then wait……patiently and knowingly wait for your spring to return! And, when it does, I can assure you that it will be more beautiful than ever! –C. Hinton

“Grief endures for a season, and spring always returns!” --C. Hinton
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matt. 5:5

Love,
Clara Hinton
Mom of 11 living children
Mom of 1 stillborn son
Mom of 6 angel babies
Author of Silent Grief

1 comment:

  1. Dear Clara,

    I know you wrote this with Paula in mind, but it applies to us all, doesn't it. I, too, am feeling some of the heaviness of the winter that hovers around, waiting to show its power and, yes, even it's beauty. But, like you said, I am planting some really beautiful iris's and can't wait to see them in the spring. I love you. Trudy, Judy, Trudy, True

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